funeral
it's been a long couple of days. Did get down to Peggy's funeral. It was sad and sweet as all funerals are. Her family and freinds gave us all a wonderful gift of a celebration of her life.

It rained heavilly all the long drive down......almost three hundred miles of driving rain. Most appropriate for a funeral!
It finally cleared for a while as we drove into Ashland -- a really sweet town -- nice to see it again.

Peggy died unexpectedly. We lived on opposite ends of the state so I didn't know her as well as I wished, but felt an instant freindship with her. She called me on the phone a few weeks ago; we talked "midwifery business" for about an hour! She was full enough of energy and enthusiasm. "You can do it, I know you can", she said to me several times when I expressed uncertainty. She was so sure -- and her "sureness" was infective. I guess it's a great thing if opptimism could be contagious!

Funeral --- Maybe we should use a better name for this goodbye ceremony. I often feel closer to a person AFTER the funeral than before - as if it's not 'goodbye" but more of chance to know someone in a new way -- a more complete way.

I've had a number of freinds die the last few years. I guess that will naturaly become more common as we age. I hate to lose someone.......and i hate the REAL grief which comes from knowing that we would have, could have, should have, spent more time together, if we'd only known how short our time was going to be.

My freind Terry and I were always "going to go to Hawaii someday". We had both lived there separately as children and longed to go back, even if only for a few weeks. We met in oregon as adults and people often assumed we were sisters. We felt that way. She died of a virulent, rapid, evil cancer. When she was sick -- far too sick to travel --we regretted we'ld never taken that trip together. There had always been some reason to make it happen "next year maybe", when there was more money or more time. But TIME was what we didn't have. What SHE didn't have. And now she's gone. What's the use of the money we saved by not taking that trip? We're just as poor as we've always been... we're not any richer for having stayed home - done the responsible thing. We would have gone -- if we'd only known the time was running out.

"If only"
Those are two very sad words.

well, i'm gonna get off to bed.

just linked to the website
i just set a link to my website, midwiferyeducation.org
We'll see if it works.

getting together
guess i'm gonna go down to the funeral - unless something comes up. Dunno who else is going or whether carpooling might happen.
mostly posting this just to see if i can find the blog afterwards..........and when i get time wanna figure out the easy way to set up links.

first post
i'll try this a while; see how it goes. I'd like to make this a public blog for area midwives - -a sort of group discussion and communication place.

but today's entry is pretty basic.
The large issue is whether I can make arrangements to go to peggy's funeral. She was a nice woman to know -- sad to think of her dying so suddenly and so young. I was brought up in a culture which MANDATES attendance at a funeral..and excuses of time, expense, inconvenience are never allowed. It's 300 miles, but that isn't much time in the scheme of a lifetime -- i've been to double features that long! (heck, the starwars trilogy was longer than that!)
soi will definitely go if i can get coverage for my client due on CHRISTmas. She's extremely unlikely to go into labor before the 24th.

midwives are going from all over the state -- might have a sort of slumber party down there in Ashland.
There's that old irish blessing "May the church be too small to hold all those who come to your funeral" -- it's a good thought.
though we'dbe better people if we honored each other more while we were alive --rather than waiting for the touch of death to bring people in one place to show honor, love, and appreciation.